This morning I woke up with an idea I've had in the past. I mulled it for a while, felt myself getting excited, and turned to Deirdre, who was just waking up.

“I'm going to write a great hypertext, multimedia memoir on the Web, and it's called The Elephant on Main Street," I said (a bit self-mockingly).

“Don't you think you ought to wait to see if someone doesn't want to buy the book first?” she said.

“Fuck 'em,” I said.

As I grabbed my jeans, two of the three Chinese coins I've carried around as totems for as long as I can remember serendipitously spilled out of a pocket. I decided to toss the I Ching. It was the first time I'd done so since Feb. 9, 1993 when I asked if I should take a job offer and rolled a hexagram that I interpreted as a resounding “no.” I said no, I've never regretted that decision despite some lean stretches.

I've thought about rolling several times over the years, but I really feel strongly that the energy should not be wasted on trivial matters. Not necessary cosmic energy. The I Ching is like conducting a wrestling match with yourself. Its value, at least to me, is that no matter what hexagram comes up, it opens up an intense internal dialogue that helps you answer your question.

My question was: “Should I forget about publishing a book and just do Elephant on the Web?”

The exciting thing about publishing on the Web, I reasoned, is that I could:

1. Post as I complete and get feedback from other people

2. Go off on my meanderings without affecting the main narrative flow

3. Write it for me, not the marketplace

4. Instigate a dialogue around this issues

Out of practice for so many years, I made a few false starts in rolling the coins and determining the correct hexagram, which it why it's dangerous to fool around with metaphyics as you approach dotage. That said, after correctly rolling three coins for each line, this is what came up:

___ ___ 8

_______ 9

___ ___ 8

_______ 9

___ ___ 8

_______ 9

It is Hexagram 63, Water over Fire - “the achievement of perfect order.”

I first consulted a newly published, condensed I Ching by Antonia and Bill Beattie. Fittingly, I thought, Carrick and her boyfreind Pete had given it to me for Christmas 2004. It offered the following "guidance":

General: As every ending is a beginning, every triumph inaugurates new challenges.

Hmmmm. Maybe most of the hard work is over. All I have to do is write the story. And how hard can that be if I'm merely writing what's in my heart and not worrying about the market?

I then consulted my old standby, the Cary F. Baynes translation into English of the Richard Wilhelm translation into German (with a forward by C.G. Jung).

“The transition from confusion to order is completed and everything is in its proper place even in particulars.”

That's it, brother.

But: “This is a very favorable outlook, yet it gives reason for thought.”

Doesn't it always?

“For it is when perfect equilibrium has been reached that any movement may cause it to revert to disorder.”

My great fear is publishing something that will cause a rupture with someone I love or care about, or unduly hurt someone.

“The transition from the old to the new time is already accomplished. In principle, everything stands systematized, and it is only in regard to details that success is to be achieved. In respect to this, however, we must be careful to maintain the right attitude. Everything proceeds as if of its own accord, and this can too easily tempt us to relax and let things take their own course without troubling over details. Such indifference is the root of all evil.”

I think that it will be very liberating to write and not think of myself as writing for an editor and a publishing house but, at the same time, retain high standards of clarity and fairness and integrity.

“When water in a kettle hangs over a fire, the two elements stand in relation and thus generate energy (cf. the production of steam). But the resulting tension demands caution. If the water boils over, the fire is extinguished and its energy is lost. If the heat is too great, the water evaporates into the air….In life there too are junctures when all forces are in balance and work in harmony, so that everything seems to be in the best of order. In such times only the sage recognizes the moments that bode danger and knows how to manage it by means of timely precautions.”

It would be a huge cosmic joke to think that this is one of those times when everything is working in harmony, but relatively speaking, things are blissful for all of the family compared to the past few years. Or perhaps ever.

Then I looked at a translation by Rudolf Ritsema and Stephen Karcher that I picked up about ten years ago.

“This hexagram describes your situation in terms of an important move from one position to another. It emphasizes that actively proceeding with the crossing is the adequate way to handle it. To be in accord with the time, you are told to already ford (my emphasis) the stream of events.

Back to the future it is, then.